Dear White Women (Part 2)-The School of Snappy Comebacks

No matter what our political affiliation, as white women, we have a responsibility to stand up to the criticism that falls into the realm of racist and sexist rhetoric. If you see Kamala Harris being attacked in a way that men or white women are not often criticized, say so.

If people are picking apart her clothing choices, appearance, tone of voice, or experience, bring the conversation back to the issues and the facts.

White people, get your comebacks ready. I’ve been practicing because our voices matter when standing up to the misinformation and disinformation that people around us will be spewing. We each need to have a couple of metaphorical index cards in our back pocket, so we know what to say when we have the opportunity.

Here are a few of the things I’m hearing and a couple of my responses, for reference:

“I’m worried that the country is not ready for a Black female president.”

You know what? I’ve wondered and worried about that too. Then, one of my friends schooled me and helped me understand that this is a form of racism. It’s called “protective racism.” And something happened (at lightning speed) the minute Biden bowed out and endorsed Harris. I felt every cell in my body say “HELL YES!” It was the greatest internal turnaround in the history of my body. So now, I’m not saying or believing that we’re not ready anymore.

We are ready. And we must believe it’s possible. In the words of the great poet Lucille Clifton, “We cannot create what we can’t imagine.” If I don’t believe Kamala can get elected, I’m less motivated to take action, knock on doors, and give money to her campaign. Likewise, if I think it is inevitable that she will be elected, I am less inclined to take action. The trick is to believe it IS possible, without being complacent. Action still matters.

“She is the quintessential DEI president. What has she done, anyway?”

This is a well-worn strategy used to demean and delegitimize women of color. Instead of offering up any actual criticism or facts, people will throw out “DEI hire” to spin a false narrative that she’s unqualified. Let’s use our voices to call this out and shut this harmful, racist narrative down.

Show me a VP who was highly visible during their tenure. Kamala Harris is without a doubt just as qualified (if not more so) than many people who have stood in her position. During her over 20-year career in politics, she’s served as:

• San Francisco District Attorney, 2004–2011
• Attorney General of California, 2011–2017
• United States Senator, 2017–2021
• Vice President of the United States, 2021-Present

Not to mention her law career before serving public office. Through these experiences, she’s built relationship capital with leaders across the country and around the world. That experience matters deeply.

No single person can have every type of experience. And when candidates are white men, it seems like no one expects them to. If your standard is different for her, it’s high time you examine why.

“She slept her way to the top.”

Wow! I wasn’t aware it was possible to have sex with the 4,442,781 voters she would’ve had to in order to get elected to California Attorney General in 2010! And gosh she must have been REALLY busy in 2016 when she slept her way to getting 7,542,753 votes for Senator. It turns out that in an industry, where one must be ELECTED by voters to get the job, “sleeping your way to the top is not actually a ‘thing’”.

I’m almost tempted to not even engage with this one because it’s so blatantly sexist and ridiculous. But unfortunately, there are still people spewing this, so why not be prepared?

And, of course, there is that part I want to say but don’t …“Are you effing kidding me right now?”

“She smiles too much, I don’t like her. Is she even taking this seriously?”

Speaking of smiles, this particular critique that’s been popping up recently brings a huge smile to my face. It shows how desperate people are to find something, ANYTHING to criticize about her.

I guess people realized that calling her unqualified didn’t work — it’s too easy to slap that one down — so all they could come up with to replace it is… “she smiles too much?” Let’s see what they come up with next. Grab your popcorn. It should be good!

It would be hilarious if it weren’t so infuriating.

“What about _______? How can you support a candidate who is not doing more to______ or who has supported _______?

I do not agree with her every policy and decision, but I DO see her leadership and candidacy as our best chance for harm reduction. I see her as willing to listen, engage in the complexities and impacts of different policy decisions, and truly consider the effects on people — both nationally and internationally. That is important to me. And that’s the kind of leader we need.

In closing…

I’m choosing to discuss these issues (despite the folks who think there is no place for politics on LI) because I see her journey to the White House as a fertile ground for all of us to more deeply understand the experiences of our BIPOC sisters, and STAND UP for a different brand of leadership.

I am going to put my all into getting Kamala elected because she is a phenomenal leader, who shares many of my values. And, the alternative is not an option. I’m afraid of what another Donald Trump presidency might bring. And I know that the worst harm will not fall on me. I want to do everything I can to protect the people who will suffer most.

If you want additional tools and perspectives (to formulate the words on those index cards in your back pocket), I have some ideas for you:

I recommend checking out Ashani Mfuko’s recent LinkedIn post. I recently discovered her courses, and they look fabulous. They help people like me (and hopefully you), who want to more skillfully and confidently engage in conversations around race, racism, and politics. I signed up yesterday for her POLITICS EDITION. I was like, “Um, yes please.” Her course starts August 19th (and it’s asynchronous so you can consume it anytime, anywhere).

If you already know WHAT to say, but you need some courage and inspiration to actually say it (maybe you feel scared, resistant, or as though you are breaking some unwritten rules by speaking up), I highly recommend this 12-min Glennon Doyle video. It’s butter.

Lastly, if you are looking to get more of a feel for Kamala — outside of what you can see on the news, at her rallies, or in the headlines — -here is Kamala’s recent interview on “We Can Do Hard Things”. (This last link is the one I sent to the person I referenced in my video).

Here’s to learning and taking action, together (with LOVE).

(Part one “Dear White Women. Let’s Step Up.” shared stories of bias and racism in our workplaces.

Mitch Shepard is a Chief Truth-Teller, a trusted coach & adviser to some of the world’s top leaders, an applied behavioral scientist, an author, a passionate world traveler, a sought-after speaker, a recovering Catholic, and an ass-kicker of cancer.

Mitch is currently seeking a publisher for her upcoming book “Lessons From My Daughter: Growing Up Together.

A book about breaking free from the “rules” (the cultural and gender constructs) that keep us stuck, reduce our effectiveness, and zap our joy.