Working Moms Are Burning Out-Companies Will Experience Higher Attrition

Yesterday, I received an email from a working mother inside of a high-growth tech company. At the bottom of her email, she wrote this disclaimer:

“I’m sheltering in place with two young kids. I guarantee you will get emails from me on weekends, late at night and early in the morning. These hours “work“ for me right now but I do not expect them to work for everyone. Please do not feel the need to respond until you are in work mode.”

I had two reactions when I read her disclaimer.

Firstly, Wow, she’s brilliant. Way to be considerate and set expectations.

Secondly, Uh-oh…how sustainable is this for her (and the many other working mothers who are in the same boat)?

I have heard the inside scoop from many working moms — almost daily — both before COVID and since. There are a few themes I am hearing that are alarming…things that you should know about, care about, and get ahead of, if you want to retain the talented women who are mothers within your companies, on your teams, and in your households:

· They feel as though they are working all the time.

· There is little separation between work and home.

· Many are taking on more of the household management and childcare responsibilities than their spouse/partner (in two-working-parent households), and their level of resentment and exhaustion is rising.

· Many are experiencing guilt that is off the charts. Their kids are eager for attention — and always present — but they cannot give them the time and attention they would like.

· I’ve heard women say, “My kids are essentially feral”, given the lack of support, structure, summer camps, etc.

· Many women have managers who “just don’t get it.”

· Many are experiencing unprecedented levels of burnout and are not sure how much longer they can “hang on.”

We must do something to support working moms!

For the husbands out there:

The data from The Bureau of Labor Statistics shows (even before COVID) that “full time working women still shoulder twice the burden of housework and childcare duties as their full time working counterparts.” This issue has only worsened since work-from-home protocols have been put in place. Many moms feel as if their careers take second fiddle to their husbands, and that they are making greater sacrifices. If this statistic rings true in your household, it is time to sit down and renegotiate the division of labor at home. The risk if you don’t? Exhaustion and resentment. Resentment is like rust on a car…it just keeps growing. Rust kills perfectly good cars and resentment can kill a perfectly good relationship too.

If you manage people (including moms), here are a few ideas:

1. Consider offering her a part-time option (temporarily) if that is something she wants and is a realistic option for your business and overall workload. If your business can afford it, offer to pay parents (not just moms — to be fair) their full salaries, while dropping their workload down to 50–75%.
2. Offer a temporary “second-shift benefit” for the remainder of COVID, where you allocate a certain percentage of salary or set amount for all working parents to apply towards any service that will make their workload lighter at home, such as: a house cleaner, home organizer, a tutor for their kids to help with homeschooling, childcare, someone to assist with shopping or meal prep, etc. These benefits (if you can afford to give them) will go a long way to retaining working moms and building loyalty.
3. Be curious and empathetic. Ask her what it has been like to juggle childcare with work, given this new COVID reality? Ask her what (if any) accommodations you can make to support her? Show your commitment to her well being by asking how you can help.
4. Thank you goes a long way. Make it clear how valuable she is to the team. Be specific with your praise. The data shows that the number one reason women leave jobs is because they don’t feel valued. Let her know that you do not expect her to work around the clock. Make it clear which projects can be put on the back burner for the time being. Show you value her by lightening the load and by being generous and flexible.

We can help too...

If you are committed to retaining the working mothers on your team, I am offering a 1-hour free Zoom call next week (at two different times — see below) to discuss these issues.

If you want to be a great manager and build trust & loyalty with the working moms on your team, this call is for you. If you feel as though your hands are tied, and there is not much you can do (after all, you still need to get results), then this call is for you. If you suspect you may be one of the leaders/managers (or husbands) who just doesn’t get it, this session is for you.

email mitch@humininc.com for link to join Monday 8/10/20, 9–10am PST or Tuesday 8/11/20 1–2pm PST

In this complimentary session, we will focus on:

· The data, impact and common themes we have heard from working moms, and what you can do about it.

· How to be a supportive, empathetic, and flexible boss, while still getting results.

· Exploring creative benefits, rewards, and strategies to incentivize working mothers and show that you value them.

We are offering the same session at two different times:

• Session 1: Monday August 10, 2020 / 9am-10am PST
• Session 2: Tuesday August 11, 2020 / 1pm-2pm PST

email mitch@humininc.com for link to join our zoom call

Please pass this article and invitation along to others (at work or at home) who would benefit from attending. The more the merrier!

Mitch Shepard is a mother, wife, passionate world traveler, and executive leader. As the CEO & Chief Truth-Teller at HUMiN inc, Mitch has spent nearly 20 years coaching & training some of the worlds top leaders. Her specialties are leader/manager effectiveness and inclusion. Visit www.humininc.com to learn more and join our mailing list.