Let Your Disability be Your Opportunity; 7 tips for leading & building trust during trying times

Several weeks ago, before the Coronavirus had rocked our worlds, I was asked by a large tech client to come in and interview a subset of employees, with the goal of getting to the bottom of some morale issues that were causing high turnover. Emotions were running high among employees and there was a palpable sense of uncertainty about the future. As I conducted these interviews, one theme came through loud and clear — people appreciated being asked. People have a lot to say. Not just some people, all people. Introverts and extroverts. New employees and old. Men and women. People from various roles and functions. In my experience, as a 20-year coach and consultant for companies across the globe, smart people are rarely at a loss for words when asked how things could be improved. Smart people have ideas. They like to contribute. They want to get results. Smart people want to be asked what they think — and more importantly — listened to.

So…how can you use the current COVID-19 pandemic to fine tune your own skill as leaders and build trust?

Here are a few ideas:

#1 Ask people how they are doing. Sounds simple, right? It is simple, but it’s not easy. Especially when your 1:1 or team meetings are traditionally oriented solely around the business of the business. At a time like this, a great way to make deposits in the trust bank account is to tune into your people, and show that you care. As Teddy Roosevelt is famous for saying,“People don’t care what you know, until they know that you care.” If you want a real answer to the question How are you doing, you’ll have to be specific, otherwise you’re likely to get a meaningless answer like “fine” or “good, all things considered.” Instead, think of 3 ways to ask a similar question, such as:

· How are you feeling these days, given all that is going on?

· What has it been like for you to work from home?

· What is working well and not so well across our team, since all these work-from-home protocols went into effect?

· Do you have others at home with you? How is that going?

· Are there any specific ways I (or team) can support you through this time?

#2. Share. How YOU are doing? Shared vulnerability builds trust. If you have been cycling between appreciating the slower pace of life, while also feeling fearful, sad, uncertain or unfocused at times….well, that means you are normal (particularly in a time like this). This is not a time to show your superhuman powers. It is a time to show your humanity. Be real with people. Doing this will give your people license to do the same.

#3. Check your assumptions. Don’t assume everyone is handling or experiencing this pandemic in the same way. There are several factors that affect a person’s feelings and reactions to the current situation. For example, for those who have school-aged kids at home they may or may not be psyched about the fact that they now have a second job as a homeschool teacher. If they fall into a higher-risk category for catching the virus, they may be riddled with fear. Employees have different degrees of privacy and space in their homes to do their work and focus. Those who live alone may be feeling lonely, and those with families may be feeling overwhelmed with a bit too much “togetherness”. If your employee cares for an elderly parent, special needs child, or has a spouse out of work, these could be particularly trying times. Be curious. Be empathetic. Be flexible.

#4. Build connection across your team. Think of clever questions to help your team connect in new ways — human to human — that are outside of the usual business talk. As an example, start your weekly team meetings inviting each person to do a 1-minute share on a specific question, such as:

· Your highlight and low-light from the past 48 hours?

· A favorite show, movie or book from the past 2 weeks?

· What’s keeping you up at night (these days)?

· Something uplifting you have observed or experienced over the past week?

· Something that made you laugh recently?

· What you’re ‘famous for’ at home?

You get the idea, be creative…the options are endless.

#5. Don’t Micro-Manage. Many of you are up against critical project deadlines & deliverables that have not changed, or may have even increased in recent days/weeks. It could be tempting to ride people harder than normal or monitor them more closely. Resist this temptation. Instead, focus on purpose, outcomes, goals and milestones. As a leader, your job is to communicate the why and what. Your employees’ job is to figure out the how and when. Set target dates, yes, but have your team share in creating these dates & milestones, when possible. People are more invested if they have shaped the plan, and if they feel some control over how things get done.

#6. Say thank you. Years ago, I was coaching a CEO who shared during one of our weekly calls that he was having a hard day, as a result of a 13-year veteran employees quitting. While her resignation took him by surprise, he accepted it, but not before thanking her for her valuable contributions over the years. As he expressed his gratitude, she began to cry. When he asked why she was crying, her response stopped him in his tracks. I had no idea you felt that way, she said. This was a wake-up call for my client. He felt gratitude but hadn’t expressed gratitude. By the time he did, it was too late. During these high-stress, world-turned-upside-down times, it is more important than ever to give specific and meaningful acknowledgement to people. Thank you yields a high ROI.

#7. Above all…Be a good human. I have made a personal commitment to do something kind or thoughtful for someone every day during this pandemic. So far, this has included baking muffins for a neighbor, sending updated financial figures to an employee to quell their financial fears, offering to grocery shop for an elderly person, giving free phone consults to a couple of clients in crisis, offering to walk a neighbors dog, writing a thank you email to the principal of my daughters school, and more. Think about your increased opportunity to be a good human, given your position as a leader. What could you do to make someone’s day today? Send a gift card. Pick up the phone and check in. Send a funny video. Send a hand-written thank you note. Email out a team photo from a past fun event. Give someone a day off. Have groceries delivered. Subscribe to a meal delivery service for that person on your team who is a single parent or who is caring for an elderly relative or special needs child. The good feelings you will generate (in yourself and others) by going above and beyond, is the fuel we all need to get through this.

Mitch Shepard is a mother, wife, passionate world traveler, and executive leader. As the CEO & Chief Truth-Teller at HUMiN inc, Mitch has spent nearly 20 years coaching & training some of the worlds top leaders. Her specialties are leader/manager effectiveness and inclusion. Visit www.humininc.com to learn more and join our mailing list.