Is Silence Really Golden? Using White Voices to Amplify Racial Inequalities
The look on this baby’s face represents how I felt yesterday when I heard a data point/statistic shared by Minda Harts during her online session, A discussion on inequality in the workplace.
One of the statistics she shared was this: “Overall, professional black women’s mental health has been enhanced by 40% since the start of COVID.”
Wait, what?
I honestly thought I was misreading those words, or that it was a typo. It was not. Minda explained that black women have LESS stress in their workplaces (obviously this statistic cannot speak for ALL black women — it is merely an average) because they have less BS and micro-aggressions to contend with. Holy cow! I would have never guessed.
She covered some REALLY important topics and stories about what black women experience in their workplaces. Stories that made my jaw drop. Stories that we have all wondered about (if we do not live in black skin): ones of micro-aggressions, subtle acts of exclusion, and outright racism. One of my favorite parts of the session in addition to her data, polls, and advice, was the opportunity to get into Zoom breakouts at the end of the call with people of different races and genders. In my small group, there were two black women and one white man in addition to myself. It isn’t often that I get to have open conversations about racism in a mixed group with complete strangers. If the thought of this terrifies some of you, I get it. I suppose you could opt-out of the breakout room experience, but I’m a big fan of Ginny Rometty’s quote: “growth and comfort do not co-exist.”
A related conversation I had earlier this week, related to comfort (or lack thereof)…
I was on the phone with a dear friend and client yesterday who shared with me that sometimes he doesn’t feel like he is doing enough to help marginalized communities, or that he isn’t vocal enough about the things he is doing (which are many…he is an active ally to the black community, a stellar advocate, mentor and sponsor to women, a well-loved C-level executive by POC and others, and a wonderful human). But then he said something that I have heard often lately: “It’s just not my ‘style’ to be vocal about the things I’m doing, or about my beliefs surrounding racism, sexism, etc.” As someone who, until recently, mostly posted pictures of travel, my family, and my dog, I agreed with him and admitted that it has only been recently that I have found the courage to be more vocal and share what I’m learning, doing, etc. Until now, it was not anyone’s “style” to be vocal about racism. I don’t know about you, but a part of me feels like I am breaking “white people code” every time I post something about BLM or other race-related movements.
This conversation got me thinking…
As many of you know, I have embarked on a research project about how race and racism has played a part in the lives and careers of black professionals. It has been eye-opening and jaw-dropping (just like Minda’s session yesterday). The themes below are common to about 70% of the folks I have spoken to thus far:
— It is not only white people who feel afraid or feel as if we are breaking cultural norms by speaking up — many black people feel tentative about speaking out about racism as well and feel as if it is risky to be vocal about racism.
— Every black person I have spoken to has said some version of this: “I look hard before calling something racism. I question what else it could be, before immediately stamping ‘racism’ on it.” Someone I spoke to recently said it best: “Nobody who experiences racism wants it to BE racism.”
— Black people (at least the ones I have spoken to thus far) feel more hopeful than they have in the past. I have repeatedly heard things like, “It does feel like it might be different this time.”
— Several black people I have spoken to have mentioned that they notice and pay attention to what their white friends post (and what they do not post). There were a variety of emotions and reactions expressed to me: some said that it is sad, difficult, lonely, infuriating, confusing (and many other descriptors) to see their white friends mostly staying silent.
I, too, notice a theme playing out here…
Many of us chose to be vocal and outraged after George Floyd’s death. It was as if we collectively woke up as a nation. The internet was ablaze with articles and videos and posting galore. And then…silence returned. Not entirely, but mostly.
I know that some of you are still in the seat of thinking that systemic racism isn’t a “thing.” But, that is the minority opinion. The vast majority of you are in fact doing things, BIG and small, in your own circles of influence to combat racism. Whether it’s doing your own anti-racist work, educating yourselves, or taking other significant actions. In fact, I have recently written about some very heartening and high-impact things that I have witnessed companies doing.
The question is this: Is the work you are doing visible to your white friends (so they can potentially follow your lead) and to your black friends (so they can feel the LOVE, and be supported)?
Look, I know it is more fun to post about happy news, family fun, pet shenanigans, smoke alerts, and other natural disasters. Heck, even politics may feel like a more comfortable topic of discussion (or social posting) than racial inequalities. I know that many of you are downright exhausted by the pandemic, the smoke, hurricanes, political issues, job and money worries, homeschooling stress, and so many other things.
But black people never get to turn off “paying attention to racism.” It is always with them. One of the questions I have been asking in my interviews with black professionals is, “How often do you think about race in your day-to-day lives at work?” Daily, often, sometimes, rarely or never? Guess what the most common answer is? This is a test to see if you are still reading.
Despite their level of exhaustion, your black friends are still swimming in racism-infested waters on the daily. The least we can do is jump in the pool with them from time to time.
For those of you who are as passionate as I am about making this world a better place, thank you for all that you’re doing! Please don’t forget how the visibility of your actions can have a powerful impact on others.
PS. Speaking of spreading around resources and learning…if you want to attend Minda’s session that I reference in this article, here is the link. I believe she is hosting a couple more sessions next week. You wont regret spending the time, I promise. https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindaharts/#microaggressions #antiracism
Mitch Shepard is a mother, wife, passionate world traveler, and executive leader. As the CEO & Chief Truth-Teller at HUMiN inc, Mitch has spent nearly 20 years coaching & training some of the worlds top leaders. Her specialties are leader/manager effectiveness and inclusion. Visit www.humininc.com and www.mitchshepard.com to join our mailing list
